And you are....?

My daughter went to "school" this morning. We send her two mornings a week during the summer even though I am on vacation so that she will keep the routine. Plus, she loves, loves going. Her teachers are wonderful, and she gets so excited to see her pint-sized friends. When she shuffles through the classroom door, all her friends shout "Princess!" It is reminiscient of Norm's entrance from Cheers (except without the beer). So cute.

So here I am - 9:00 a.m. on a Wednesday morning - all by myself. The house is quiet except for the soothing rattle of a train every now and then. What shall I do with myself? The possibililities are endless...I guess. I don't know. What is it I like to do again?

So far I've checked my work e-mail, written a few messages, and logged onto my paperback exchange account, requesting several Virginia Woolf titles that I may never get to read, but I will feel smarter with them on my bookshelf. And now, well, here I am. Writing, thinking, wondering - what could I do for the next three hours that will fill my soul just a little? Not enough time to go to the beach or the city. If I go to the mall (which I really don't enjoy that much, so I am not sure why I would consider it), I will spend money I am not supposed to. And hey, I could unnecessarily spend cash online right from the comfort of my own home! It's too early for the bar, right?

I know you're all screaming at me right now. "If I had 3 hours to myself, I would...!!" I'd probably do the same if I was in your position. In fact, I know I would. I often tell my husband, "I just need a break so that I can go out and be me for a little while. Not the mom, not the wife, not the career person, just me." Yet, I am not really sure who she is anymore. What did I do during the summers I was not a mom and did not have to go to work so frequently even during "vacation"? I really cannot remember.

I guess my mission is to figure out who this new version of me is. I can never be the college co-ed, graduate student or the newlywed again. Instead, I need to carve out a little space for the fulfilled individual who also happens to be a working mom. Maybe a yoga class? a therapy group? a writer's workshop? a gardening club? a softball league? a dinner with friends?

I just hope I am greeted with a resounding "Working Mom!" when I arrive. Then maybe I'll know who I am.