I Did It Myyyy Waaay...

Frankie (Sinatra that is) makes it sound so easy. Just choose to do it "my way." Yet when you try to fill someone else's shoes, those around you constantly speculate if you can do it as well as she did, wonder how much you will change their jobs and hope (well some people anyway) you'll fall flat on your face so the big bosses can see they really deserved the job. To complicate matters even further, the person you replaced didn't retire or leave the company. No, she simply got promoted and (with all good intentions on her part) checks in every few days to see how it's going. Yet, you continue to try to do things "your way" since "her way" just doesn't make any sense to you.

Welcome to my work life...

Now, let me begin by saying I love my new job. It is a great new challenge that keeps my brain hard at work at all hours (not so good for a restful night's sleep, but I am sure I'll get used to it). But my predecessor's presence lurks around me...always. She is great with people - always has a kind word and remembers everyone's husband's name, childrens' names and life stories. She writes personal thank you notes following almost every act of kindness. She treats every meeting as an opportunity to cater an event. I am just not built that way. I do not do small talk. I believe personal lives should remain personal. And I still haven't even sent my parents their anniversary card (going on 3 weeks now).

But...and this may sound pretentious however I am starting to really believe it is true...my predecessor didn't do her job as well as perhaps she should have or could have. It was a position she held for over 25 years. I am sure complacency set in at some point. There are tremendous gaps in her work, not to mention no computer files (yes, that's right folks...none. She handwrites most her memos). Glaring flaws confront me everyday, ones I know she must have seen, but instead seemingly chose not to ruffle feathers or chose not to work very hard. Because she is as nice as she is, I prefer to think the best of her.

However, here I am eight weeks into this great job trying to patch some of the gaping holes without ostracizing too many people (including my predecessor) at the same time. How do I fix some of the most pressing problems without sending the message to her employees that their much beloved former boss often dropped the ball so they are wasting their time doing some of the things she asked of them? That's tough news to break without all the home baked cookies and spinach quiche to distract them. I guess I will try to "wow" them with common sense first and try to address those areas that will help make their lives a bit easier.

If not, there's always Entenmann's chocolate chip cookies and Dunkin Donuts coffee. I guess I should go to a stationary store too (just in case of emergency).

Boy Crazy...

My sister-in-law and niece are visiting for a long weekend. My niece is 10 years old, going on 21. She wears mascara and blue eyeshadow, has a boyfriend, has a cell phone and has that "I'm on the edge of puberty" attitude. She is this fantastic girl who is in the often ungraceful process of shedding her childhood skin. All she wants to talk about is boys and who is hot and who is not. She loves the Jonas brothers (Nick is the hot one by the way). As she pages through her generation's version of Teen Beat, she floats into her fantasy world where everyone loves her and she always gets the hottest guy (that would be the aforementioned Nick Jonas). And I, trying to be the good aunt, listen intently to all her stories about what would happen if she met the Jonas brothers and why she needs to have a boyfriend even though she is only in 5th grade. But what I want to say (and do whenever an opportunity presents itself) is there is a lot more to life than boys. Yet even in this post-feminist movement world where women are equal (and probably your boss), she stares at me with exasperation and bewilderment when I ask what else she is interested in besides boys and shopping.

As she continues on, I find my eyes glancing at my own two year old Princess, and I wonder who she will be at ten years old. What world will she enter? Who will her role models be? How crazy will she get about boys? It is a little nerve wracking to contemplate.

So tonight rather than worrying about all those questions which I cannot control right now, I tiptoed into Princess's bedroom, hoping she wasn't yet asleep. Thankfully, she wasn't. I asked her if she wanted to rock in the chair with me for a little while, and she eagerly nodded her head. And so we rocked - back and forth, back and forth - while she told me stories about her day and what we will do this weekend. And I, trying to be the good mom, listened intently and snuggled her tightly. All the while, though, I was thinking that someday Princess will be ten...but tonight, thank God, she was wonderfully, fantastically two (without a hint of boy mania in sight).

You Spin Me Right 'Round

Well, I am on the working mom carousel today. As I have to do on many days, I left for work before Princess opened her eyes (it bums me out everytime). When I got to work, I dropped my stuff in my office and ran out to do two observations, back to back. Returned to my office to find 12 new e-mails (two with the high priority exclamation point) and three phone messages. Believing I only had 20 minutes until my next appointment, I quickly addressed the most pressing, and then dashed off to an elementary school. Patiently, I waited for my partner to arrive at said school only to find out we miscommunicated on our days so she thought our meeting is tomorrow. While lingering at the school, though, I thought about Princess and what she was doing now (gymnastics class, I think). That palpable "mom guilt" swirled around me as I saw other brown haired, brown eyed little girls skip through the school's hallways. Ugh...yet no time to wallow; it's back to the high school to comb through hundreds of pages of curriculum, four years' worth of department meeting agendas and school board policies as I attempt to do my part to prepare for state monitoring. Several people come and asks questions. I find out one teacher I observed is in tears because she thinks the lesson was terrible (it wasn't). I send a "don't worry, it was fine" e-mail. A few hours (and two Advil) later, it's off to my "new administrator" cohort/support group where I stare at a clock and eagerly anticipate picking up Princess.

Sprint to the car...drive too many miles to pick her up.

Big, big, delicious hugs from Princess. Breathe....

But only for a second.

Drive home. Change clothes. Make dinner. Empty dishwasher. Eat dinner. Play outside. Play inside. Feed dog. Bath. Strawberries (for Princess). Stories. Bed. Turn on the sprinkler for new sod. More kisses. Bed. "Rub my back Mommy." Bed. "Daddy's still at work baby girl." Bed again. Turn down the monitor's volume to make it easier to do the tough love approach to bedtime. Sleeping Princess.

Blog...and a glass of red wine. I think I earned it today.